Wednesday 6 August 2008

masturbating

The whipping has increased from 150 strokes to 300 as i masturbated without His permission. This is something i have a problem with and i know He is exasperated with me but i know i can do it (ie stop doing it) i think personally i have got better than what i was and overall i think im getting improving but in this specific area i struggle. I think its like a habit and bad habits generally are conquered with changing particular patterns that make a habit a habit, i have always from late teens masturbated frequently, i guess on average a couple times a week sometimes more, so i need to break that mould which i have to a certain extent. When i think about it, its a bit like smoking, when we first met i smoked but He asked me if i would give it up, which i did, however on the very odd occassion i will have one but i can now go months without one and its similar to my masturbating. I think maybe by not being able to ask to masturbate and by only being allowed to on the rare occassion such as when we are together i could break the pattern, it seems the more im allowed to (which He generally does allow me to when i ask) i seem to mess up, i wander if this would work?

As it it stands should i do so again He says He will find someone locally to punish me, which naturally im completley against because i would hate it, but i dont think this is the answer im more inclined to try the method of not having very often and having them as a reward only. This i think would be far more effective as it would break the pattern that i have gotten into plus the longer in between orgasms the more intense they are.

He has suggested that should anyone read this blog (some must do occassionaly as i get the odd comment) that they may have suggestions on ways i could be punished. Im not sure i like this idea but its what i have been instructed to put (see i can do as im told most of the time, im not really bad).

5 comments:

  1. If he is prepared to give you to someone else to "punish" then obviously you are replacacable. There would be no shortage of dominants that would be willing to take you on, take a look at your blog right back to the start and reflect on how well you have done, you are a good slave and will get better, my goodness you havent even being doing this for what 2 years?

    Im curious when was the last time he told you he was proud of you?
    When you first started this blog it was happy and positive, now you have poor self esteem and no self confidence.

    I feel for you.

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  2. The above comment is a load of bollocks for fucks sake she is a slave she didnt do as she was told and deserves to be punished has fuck all to do with "poor self esteem and no self confidence"

    A slaves purpose is to be pleasing whether they like something or not does not figure into it at all... thats what makes them a slave.

    The point in question is how she should be punished...a bloody good hard whipping between the legs and I doubt she would be wanting to touch his cunt again(because it is his, a slaves body is for the Masters use and therefore it is not for a slave to decide what is done with it).

    Dan

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  3. You arrogant prick, so your answer to solving problems with people is to use violence then is it?

    She may well be a slave but she is a human being with feelings as well, you only have to read some of her blog to see that she what a mess she is.

    Im a sub in a Dominant/submissive relationship so I am well aware of what I am talking about and can recognise abuse when I see it.

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  4. So tell me what internet chatroom do you live your D/s fantasy in?

    There is dreaming and there is reality you havent a clue what your talking about.

    Dan

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  5. I have just published a post in response to these comments, the one in particular where its implied that im abused. Well i am sometimes....and i bloody love it!!!!

    ReplyDelete