punishment

I have had part of my punishment this lunchtime, He texted me to make sure i had everything ready which i did have, butt plug was out and glass of my piss, for once i wasnt looking forward to Him phoning. When He called i had to confirm why i was being punished and that i accepted that i deserve it then i was instructed to put the butt plug in, it was uncomfortable as it was and hadnt yet been inflated but then its always been that way, for some reason i just cant handle the inflatable plug which i find strange as i have enjoyed having bottles up my ass. I had 4 pumps altogether, its hard to describe the pain but its constant in that it doesnt fade, for as long as the plug is in it hurts and is very uncomfortable, makes me feel very nauseous. I was crying but then i was worked up before He phoned but i knew i would especially when He verbally expresses His disappointment and He made it clear that should i speak to Him in a disrespectful manner again i will get the plug inflated a lot more and He couldnt care less whether i bled or not.

I then had to drink my piss, it smelled disgusting and tasted just as bad, i figured the best way would be to take big mouthfuls instead of prolonging it by taking sips, after 2 mouthfuls i tried to ask for no more but He wasnt having any of it so 3 more mouthfuls and it was down, the aftertaste was disgusting. I asked if i could remove the plug but He wouldnt let me for the time being and it was hurting i think if it wasnt for the distraction of the butt plug i would have found it a lot harder to drink the piss but because i wanted the plug out as soon as possible i knew i had to drink it quick.

When He did allow me to take it out, He made me clean it using my mouth, i can accept all of the above because i knew i deserved it but i dont think i deserved to have to do that, and that has upset me.

Im not sure how i feel at the moment, upset and alone comes to mind, anyway i think a bath and a couple glasses of brandy will be nice just about now. I cant think clearly at the moment probably would of been better writing this later.