Its strange because i detest the inflatable butt plug, yet i enjoy trying larger objects in my ass, so made a point of getting some glass beer bottles to drink of course and then to use in my ass. It wasnt an overly large bottle but still a bigger size than i am used to, i found it easier to sit above the bottle and managed to get a fair amount in and i enjoyed it, it hurt but in a nice way and i definitley want to progress more in that particular area.
After we meet up i tend to spend a lot of time going over things in my head and analyzing how it went, im dissapointed that i wasnt able to cope with a severe caning to the extent that it drew blood and i know He was dissapointed too. But what bugs me the most is that i cant seem to get out the habit of resisting and intially refusing to comply with what im instructed to do (sometimes not aways), before He arrives i sit there going over in my head "i will not resist, i will not resist" like a mantra but i do. The easiest solution is to be in bondage but it not always possible but besides that i know i shouldnt resist anyway, i should obey immediatley without question.