Thursday, 31 January 2013

Well it was only a matter of time...

A couple of weeks ago a jury cleared a man of assault after a "50 shades inspired s/m session overstepped the boundries of fantasy"

Steven Lock, 43, and a woman in her forties, who cannot be named for legal reasons, began a relationship based around sado-masochistic role play after meeting on a dating website.
 
But prosecutors alleged that last August the fantasy went too far as Lock chained the women "like a dog" to his bedroom floor and whipped her repeatedly with a rope.
He denied assault causing actual bodily harm, saying the woman had consented.
 
During the trial, Lock was asked by defence counsel Roger Thomson if he and the alleged victim had read Fifty Shades Of Grey.
He replied: "That's where we got the idea from."
 

The court heard the couple took part in group sex and bondage together and the woman had the words "Property of Steven Lock" tattooed around her genitals.

The woman also signed a contract promising Mr Lock free use of her body and entitling him to lash her if she did not follow his rules.

Lock told the court the woman consented to the activity and the couple agreed on the code word "Red", which was to be used if either of them began to feel uncomfortable.

The woman, who told the court she broke down in tears and screamed as she was beaten 14 times with the rope, never used this word.

She said: "I knew there would be pain involved and I knew I wasn't going to like it but I'd agreed to it and had to follow it through."
Mr Thomson said Lock felt bad about what he had done.
Giving evidence, Lock said: "It was supposed to be kinky fun, I didn't want her to cry."
She suffered bruising to the buttocks and neck.
After the lashings, the couple had sex then Lock left her chained to the floor while he went on his computer, the court heard.
 
"Fifty Shades Of Grey is not a manual: it's a work of fiction and this is a case which demonstrates that things can go wrong."
Prosecutor Duncan O'Donnell told jurors: "It was part of a master-slave fantasy and she went there expecting a fantasy when Mr Lock wanted reality.
"She may have expected some playful spanking, to be hit lightly perhaps, but she received a lashing with a rope."
 
    ________________________________________________________________________
 
 
Ooops.  Im really not sure what i think about this, part of me thinks "silly naive woman" but i also appreciate that sometimes we all make rash errors of judgement in the heat of the moment, i have acted on my naivety before and reality doesnt always live up to the fantasy but in this case it just went horribly wrong,
 
 

Jelly

Yes jelly, as in wobble like a jelly on a plate.


Jelly comes in all sorts of flavours and colours.  But what i like most about jelly is all the different moulds that you can get, you can have jelly numbers, letters, shapes, you can even have different layers of colours and put fruit in the middle if you wanted. 

I like strawberry jelly with strawberries set in the middle of it, sometimes with a nice dollop of ice cream on the side, but other times i just like jelly in a bowl, nothing fancy.  But regardless of whether its put in a mould, what colour it is, shape, extras it is still jelly. 

Similar somewhat to the relationship i have with the bossman, my submission is much like the 'jelly' and he chooses the 'jelly' and/or what he wants to do with it.

Wednesday, 30 January 2013

Submissive bloopers

I woke up this morning, should be at work but daughter is poorly so i thought ok i will catch up on some blogs and oh i so wanted to post on one but i have been banned from contributing further on this particular subject...and i swear i have holes in my tongue from my teeth biting through!

So i need something light hearted, fun to distract me and i thought....bloopers..yeah why not submissive bloopers, you know like you sometimes get at the end of films, moments that went wrong/funny/not the way it was intended.

Now i should say that he wont tolerate brattiness and i dont think (or maybe in the beginning it was i dunno no) i do, but along this journey there has been inevitable 'testing times' and for some of these i was held accountable....but still i look back, have laughed, cringed...omg did i really say/do that moments, these are just some of those moments over the years we have been together..

Slammed the shower door shut in his face (well he was coming towards me with needles, and i knew where they were going {down there}) so it was the obvious soloution..yes?

Just chilling on the sofa, i was sulking because he had said to no to something, under my breath i muttered "right twat" he looked up "pardon" and with such quick speed i came back with "white rats...." (i was quite proud of my quick thinking!)

Attempting to crawl away from him, ankles were hobbled and inflatable butt blug was inserted, tube trailing beween my legs like a tail, im not sure where i thought i was going and what i was acheiving but i didnt get very far..he just sat back and laughed!

A stand off that could rival the one at OK Corral, complete with foot stamping, declarations that no way in hell was i doing what he wanted, he could kiss my ass (yes i did say that..go me) umm nope he kissed my ass alright but not with his lips.

Hiding this particular whip i hate, because its just horrible so i figured the simple soloution was for it to go 'missing', he searched for it, up down and around, i sat back smirking to myself, quite smug, then he found it and the smug was wiped off my face....moral of this if your going to hide something...hide it well!

Sitting in the garden after a 'session' (i think this was one of the first times he started introducing me to 'heavier' s/m) relaxing and in a moment of temporary insanity i declared "well that wasnt as bad as i thought it would be" and continued muttering on about how ok it was, dont know why i was nervous etc etc....so he took me back in to 'demonstrate' how bad it could get.....i dont moan anymore that its not enough!..sometimes i just need to learn when to shut my mouth.

Hmm i think i will leave it there because frighteningly there are more.














Tuesday, 29 January 2013

But im not allowed to....and i know that

I used to think how i would get around situations that require me having to ask his permission first, i mean its not like you can say to your vanilla friends "sorry im not allowed" because well obvious reasons really, but the soloution was simple "can i get back to you on that, not sure what my/our plans are" i just tend to over worry about silly things...im just a worrier full stop.

Sometimes there are situations that i just know that i wouldnt be given permission for and i make my apologies if appropriate, sometimes situations crop up that i could go ahead and do and he would never know.

It could be something very simple, lets say masturbating as an example (but it could be anything), i am not allowed to do this under any circumstances without his permission, he has recently decided i am not allowed to ask if i can, he decides when and how.

But i could, i could go upstairs now have a nice play with myself, he would be none the wiser, and i would enjoy it, but then afterwards, after the come-down from the orgasm i would feel guilty and i would argue with myself in my head, think image of a devil and angel lol, its ok he wont know, whats the big deal, its my body! and then but im not allowed to, i have disobeyed him, its disrespectful to him and this argument would go back and forth in my head....he wont know/but it was wrong etc etc

Then later we might be talking or whatever but im not really *there* because this battle is still going on in my head, and im on edge, and now its worse because time is getting on, it might even carry on for a couple of days and all the time im feeling worse and worse, especially if he outright asks "Is there something you want to tell me" and then i know he knows i have done something im not allowed to do and i feel trapped....because i *know*.

I know this because i have done this, not for a long while though.

Eventually i spill all and its that proverbial weight being removed from my shoulders.

But its more than just feeling guilt about what i have done, its about trust, he trusts me to behave in a way he expects regardless of if he is around or not, its about respecting his authority over me. 















Monday, 28 January 2013

Not submissive......?

There is a post on a blog, i wont link to it.  It's ruffled a few feathers and i know im not the only one its had this effect on, it made me think however, and i do like that.  Its made me think about how we view our submission, or more to the point how our submission is defined.  Submission to a certain extent is personal, 'my' submission isnt necessarily going to be the same as 'your' submission but does it make any of us any less submissive than the other?

If i state that sometimes i need to be forced, to be pushed does this mean im not submissive? because surely if im submissive i shouldnt need to be, i should willingly and enthusiastically submit to his every command..shouldnt i?

Hmmm.

I aim and strive to be obedient and pleasing, but i know this is going to be completley out there and totally an unreasonable statement and i cant help it but im human...i know..i did say it was going to be totally out there! so because im human, i have emotions, i think, i feel and sometimes (shocker alert coming up) i struggle to submit and it brings about these conflicts because i want/need to please him and yet.....i get afraid and because im afraid i 'fight' against his dominance/control.

(i apologise for the touch of sarcasm above)

I trust him and within what has been agreed in our relationship i have consented for him to choose and decide if and when i need pushing or to be forced, because sometimes i need it, to get me where i need to be and im all the better for it.

Sometimes i like being 'forced', i like that he will make me submit, then i feel guilty because he would much rather i was obedient...but...as long as i dont refuse to obey just to be forced (that he wont tolerate) he rather quite likes it to.

Sometimes he will wait me out, he will play the waiting game, there doesnt need to be force, i will sooner or later 'come around' and i will willingly ask and submit to what previously i balked at, i may have just needed time to process and come to terms with it.

Its dependent on the situation, there are too many variables for me to say what method works best and when but yet the result is the same, sometimes submission isnt easy and when it isnt and its a  struggle and there needs to be a push or to play the waiting game..thats ok.









Sunday, 27 January 2013

A bloggy award





Thanks to lil http://submissivesanctuary.blogspot.co.uk/ for nominating me this, the rules are as follows

Display the award logo on your blog
Link back to the person who nominated you
Nominate 15 other bloggers for this award and link back to them
Notify said nominated bloggers
List 7 things about yourself

whew ok 7 things about myself....i accept no responsibilty if these titbits have already been mentioned somewhere in my blog! lol

1.  I live by the sea, within 5 mins walk but i cant swim and im terrified of the sea..i will not go out of my depth thats if i go in it the first place.

2.  I can 'talk' away on here and sometimes my comments on others blogs can ramble on but face to face im shy and if we all ever managed to get together i would be the one in the corner, nervous about meeting and talking, its sometimes misinterpreted as being unfriendly but its not, im not a very confident person with people i just meet or/and dont know well.

3. Im a theme park junkie, most especially roller coasters, love them, but you wouldnt get me on a big wheel/ferris wheel for love nor money!

4.  I sometimes wander if there is something wrong with me because even in ttwd i cant say sex is that important to me, i enjoy it but i dont need it and could certainly manage long periods of time without it if it should happen.

5.  I believe in karma (cause and effect) and that you should treat people how you would want to be treated yourself, and i try to remind myself of this when someone upsets or has caused me harm and really im thinking "i want to rip your fucking head off" it doesnt always work...but i try!

6.  I have read one book on bdsm and D/s relationships and although it was interesting and informative i am a sceptic of these types of books because i dont like 'manuals' that imitate it should be a certain way ie...."A good dominant should be/do xyz" or "A good submissive should be/do xyz" ..... im more a "do it your way" train of thought, i figure we are people, individuals with emotions and different experiences not mass produced flat packed furniture!

7.  When i announce that im going to 'experiment' in the kitchen food wise, they all get out the take-away leaflets..its quite insulting really.

Now i hate this part because there are so many great blogs but at random here are my nominees

http://fondles.blogspot.co.uk/2013/01/snippets-lunar-new-year-edition.html

http://cassaundrawithacollar.blogspot.co.uk/2013/01/back-from-brink.html?zx=24b1b3bb97b3b52d

http://ownedlittleone.blogspot.co.uk/2013/01/my-dark-sense-of-humor.html?zx=1d7761be3f547982

http://faerielernstofly.blogspot.co.uk/2013/01/his-fault.html?zx=278d833fde37c49e

http://thesubmissivewife.blogspot.co.uk/2013/01/follow-friday-01-25-13.html?zx=d10c997a2af3a0a2

http://subjoolz.blogspot.co.uk/2013/01/random-thoughts-for-saturday-afternoon.html?zx=a593e1753e5a3232

http://aslavestale.blogspot.co.uk/2013/01/rattle-of-chains.html?zx=13c62221320b5fe0

http://sirqandme.blogspot.co.uk/2013/01/well-played.html?zx=d0143800751d9763

http://ourownds.blogspot.co.uk/2013/01/my-fascination-with-sadism-and-masochism.html?zx=bb5f7b3c6e22e45d

http://joeyred51-joeyandfriends.blogspot.co.uk/2013/01/a-spanking-at-end-of-tunnel.html?zx=8a913cc8709f4126

http://mmd6448.blogspot.co.uk/?zx=2377f60354abe2fc

http://floridadomscorner.blogspot.co.uk/2013/01/chirstmas-in-january.html




 

Saturday, 26 January 2013

Expecting too much?

I have been pondering (never a good thing) if i expect too much from him, i mean like im submissive but do i always feel like submitting? heck no, and realistically im not always going to be actively submitting but i do get agitated if i dont feel im getting his active dominance, even though duh! he cant always be dominating me...make any sort of logical sense?

I expect him to know when i want something from him, i can ask, and im comfortable with that, but i expect him to know and to then give me what i want...yes i know not very submissive (but i am only human). 

The simple obvious soloution is to just outright state "Sir, i would like you to xyz please" the worst that can happen is i get a "no" and thats ok...ok well its not because then i have to accept that no...and a no is always a no..so no i prefer to ignore the simple soloution and make it more complicated by sitting there getting myself wound up because he isnt reading my mind...and men (not all men) really arent that great with picking up subtle hints.

Actually sometimes i think he does pick up the hints but he chooses to ignore them because he knows what im doing and he is waiting for me to ask..that or he just enjoys knowing im tormenting myself.

I think sometimes i expect his dominance to be in-tune with my submission and thats not always going to happen, but i wander if what im really expecting is him to exert his dominance when i want it and it comes full circle..that he cant or wont want to be dominating me all the time much like i dont always and cant be submitting.

If these rambles make any sense....you deserve a glass of wine...coz thats what im needing.