My son turned 18 this week, i feel too young to have an 18yr old! in mind not body...we had a meal out, with lots of the family and friends, he choose the restaurant, which is a very nice one, however i have come to a conclusion that the more expensive a meal is the less you get on the plate!
Plus, is it a trend lately for the plates to be really, really, large, im sat there with this big round white plate, with a blob of food in the centre, very nicely presented, so nice, im not sure if i should eat it or take it home to hang on the wall.
Im thinking, have they given us another round of starters? where are the vegetables? i tentatively lift the salmon up from what is a 'bed of noodles' a tablespoon amount..ohh yes there they are 2 mangetouts, and 3 thinly sliced slithers of courgette, and a teaspoon of chopped peppers.
Then sides arrive, which is a damn good thing we ordered plenty of sides, or it would have been MacDonalds later, anyway now its time to play table Jenga, we are all sat there with these big plates, bottles of wine, the wine glasses, glasses for water, condiments, vase of flowers and manoeuvring everything around to fit the side plates on the table....its like a mastermind challenge...to fit everything on right with nothing dropping off.
3 courses later, we have coffee, even the cups are so small, im pretty sure the handle was there for decoration only, because you couldnt get a finger through it, well if you did im not sure you would be able to get it back out again!
However, the food was delicious, the company was great, we had a lot of laughs, my cousins girlfriend had made him an amazing cake, a chocolate Playstation 4 console with controller, she is so talented at baking, it really did look like the real thing, and tasted well yummy.
Did end up making toasted cheese and ham sandwiches at nearly 1 in the morning though!
Thursday, 9 April 2015
Wednesday, 8 April 2015
Cool, calm and collected
Thats me, not him..i can be too, enough to go back and be rational with my fact rant in response to a comment, so im going to look at the positives....you know all this positive April means May does not bode well :)
1) Everyones relationship is unique to them
Well, sincerely thank goodness for that, wouldnt it be a boring world if we were all the same, for a start blogging would not be as interesting if we all thought and did exactly the same! Personally i enjoy reading about others relationships, how they work etc, i find it interesting to hear others perspectives on things, variety is the spice of life it is said..how true that is!
2) Saying my Master/Mistress wouldnt treat me like that because they care comments
This pretty much applies to the above, how a dominant treats their sub/slave or whatever will differ, i personally would not want a dominant that treated me like a princess and pandered to my every whim, that only did things to me that i wanted or enjoyed.....i like to be dominated, not dictate how im dominated.
3) Rituals etc..boring or not?
I love kink, bdsm, but those are not what makes my relationship M/s, its having rituals, rules, discipline and being controlled that for me are what makes it M/s, other wise it would just be a relationship with kink in it. Rituals provide consistency, keep me grounded, aware of the power exchange, enforce the dynamic, they may well be boring to others, but i like the reminders they give me of my place.
4) Unhealthy relationships
Yes well, im happy, content, loved, i dont live in fear, so for me its all good, if one is unhappy and living in real fear then its not good at all, i understand that some people might read here and be uncomfortable, ok, i get that, if you really have a problem with something i blog about, honestly as long as your not 'judgy' in your comment im more than happy to provide further comment without sarcasm.
5) harmful s/m
Ok, being tied up, having my boobs tied up, is safe, have had them tied up and abused for years, and they are still in darn good shape if i must say so myself, it might not be someones thing, and thats ok, there is plenty out there that does not appeal for me.
But be careful not to say that something is harmful unless you have the proof to back that statement up, and that applies to any form of s/m, of course people may have particular health issues whereby something could be potentially harmful in which case common sense applies.
Now why didnt i just respond like this in the first place...all nice and calm....coz i can do it!
1) Everyones relationship is unique to them
Well, sincerely thank goodness for that, wouldnt it be a boring world if we were all the same, for a start blogging would not be as interesting if we all thought and did exactly the same! Personally i enjoy reading about others relationships, how they work etc, i find it interesting to hear others perspectives on things, variety is the spice of life it is said..how true that is!
2) Saying my Master/Mistress wouldnt treat me like that because they care comments
This pretty much applies to the above, how a dominant treats their sub/slave or whatever will differ, i personally would not want a dominant that treated me like a princess and pandered to my every whim, that only did things to me that i wanted or enjoyed.....i like to be dominated, not dictate how im dominated.
3) Rituals etc..boring or not?
I love kink, bdsm, but those are not what makes my relationship M/s, its having rituals, rules, discipline and being controlled that for me are what makes it M/s, other wise it would just be a relationship with kink in it. Rituals provide consistency, keep me grounded, aware of the power exchange, enforce the dynamic, they may well be boring to others, but i like the reminders they give me of my place.
4) Unhealthy relationships
Yes well, im happy, content, loved, i dont live in fear, so for me its all good, if one is unhappy and living in real fear then its not good at all, i understand that some people might read here and be uncomfortable, ok, i get that, if you really have a problem with something i blog about, honestly as long as your not 'judgy' in your comment im more than happy to provide further comment without sarcasm.
5) harmful s/m
Ok, being tied up, having my boobs tied up, is safe, have had them tied up and abused for years, and they are still in darn good shape if i must say so myself, it might not be someones thing, and thats ok, there is plenty out there that does not appeal for me.
But be careful not to say that something is harmful unless you have the proof to back that statement up, and that applies to any form of s/m, of course people may have particular health issues whereby something could be potentially harmful in which case common sense applies.
Now why didnt i just respond like this in the first place...all nice and calm....coz i can do it!
On the starting line
I shall not complain about the profile pic..could of been worse! besides i do love being caged and ahem im being positive.
Anon asked on the previous post which lacking inspiration, i figured make it a post
"How long did you wait before you started anything physical when you first met? I arranged to meet a dominant once and backed out last minute I was so scared and nervous, curious to see how you felt"
Ok, well im not a great advertisement for all the 'safety rules' of first meets, within a couple of hours of first meeting i was tied to the bed and being tormented in a very nice way, but then it was expected, or rather should i say all going well the intention was to get physical.
We had spoke online and on the phone a lot before we met up, so it wasnt a case of one day talking online and the next jumping into bed and getting kinky lol, we had decided at that point to give it a go real time and see where things would lead.
I think it was roughly 3 months from the first initial contact, he approached me first btw, to actually meeting up.
I was scared and nervous, but having met a dominant beforehand in a similar fashion, that very first time was the worst. With Master it was a little more easier, but i was apprehensive, when he turned up i think i rambled and rambled on about nonsense because i was so nervous.
He did put me at ease though, he was relaxed which helped a lot, we had talked a lot about kink, D/s beforehand, what we both wanted in the short term, and i think thats important, so i wasnt walking into a situation blindly if that makes sense?
You didnt ask, but my advice would be to anyone potentially meeting someone that you have initially 'met' online is
1) ask to speak on the phone first, if someone refuses to speak on the phone, that for me would be an instant red flag, why? are they married? are they just looking for online only and therefore stringing you along? or even, as crazy as this might sound but it happens...are they actually the gender they say they are!
2) ask questions, write them down beforehand while fresh in your mind, what is important to you that you need to know?
3) be clear as much as is possible about what you both are expecting from that first meet, if you dont want to get physical....make that clear, if they pressure you for more....well if it was me i would walk, if they cant respect your boundaries at that point...for me thats not a good sign
but most of all be sensible, safe and have fun!
Anon asked on the previous post which lacking inspiration, i figured make it a post
"How long did you wait before you started anything physical when you first met? I arranged to meet a dominant once and backed out last minute I was so scared and nervous, curious to see how you felt"
Ok, well im not a great advertisement for all the 'safety rules' of first meets, within a couple of hours of first meeting i was tied to the bed and being tormented in a very nice way, but then it was expected, or rather should i say all going well the intention was to get physical.
We had spoke online and on the phone a lot before we met up, so it wasnt a case of one day talking online and the next jumping into bed and getting kinky lol, we had decided at that point to give it a go real time and see where things would lead.
I think it was roughly 3 months from the first initial contact, he approached me first btw, to actually meeting up.
I was scared and nervous, but having met a dominant beforehand in a similar fashion, that very first time was the worst. With Master it was a little more easier, but i was apprehensive, when he turned up i think i rambled and rambled on about nonsense because i was so nervous.
He did put me at ease though, he was relaxed which helped a lot, we had talked a lot about kink, D/s beforehand, what we both wanted in the short term, and i think thats important, so i wasnt walking into a situation blindly if that makes sense?
You didnt ask, but my advice would be to anyone potentially meeting someone that you have initially 'met' online is
1) ask to speak on the phone first, if someone refuses to speak on the phone, that for me would be an instant red flag, why? are they married? are they just looking for online only and therefore stringing you along? or even, as crazy as this might sound but it happens...are they actually the gender they say they are!
2) ask questions, write them down beforehand while fresh in your mind, what is important to you that you need to know?
3) be clear as much as is possible about what you both are expecting from that first meet, if you dont want to get physical....make that clear, if they pressure you for more....well if it was me i would walk, if they cant respect your boundaries at that point...for me thats not a good sign
but most of all be sensible, safe and have fun!
Tuesday, 7 April 2015
A decade of debauchery
Ok so my April officially starts now...a month of positive posting!..lets see how it goes :)
This week, no month (cant remember exact date) is 10 years since Master and i met face to face for the first time.
I dont think either of us expected us to be here, where we are now, i know that doesnt sound very good, one doesnt generally go into a relationship thinking it wont last! but then that i think is the point, neither of us was seeking a relationship as such, and certainly not love....and yet here we are.
Right, positive tori!....no negativity, i can do this, yes i can
I am happy with how much i have grown over the years, not just in being his slave but overall, im more sure of myself, of what i want and what i need, and im confident in being able to express that, but i think mostly im in a place of just trusting him enough to know what i want and need, and it took a long time getting there.
But i think a lot of that is simply maturing, growing up, experience etc, entering into an M/s dynamic at the age of 29 was just opening another door to discovering myself, exploring this side of me i was unsure about, not knowing if it was for me, i had doubts, but im so glad i gave it a go, i certainly have no regrets.
Master has always maintained that it was always in me, it just needed bringing out, if it wasnt him, it would of been some other dominant, and he has a point, but i for one am glad it was not someone else, we are lucky that we are very compatible, our needs and wants for the most part are on par.
Its difficult i think starting out, because one might not know for sure, it was different for me than him, i was relatively inexperienced, certainly not enough to be confident in knowing for sure what i liked, or indeed what i didnt like or to know what i wanted, whereas he has decades of experience more than me, he was/is very sure of what he likes, expects and wants.....i thought that might be an issue.
But, i took to it all really well, yes there were blips, and still are blips, (but this is a positive post) and i relished in discovering this 'world', that i thrived on being controlled, pleasing him being so important to me, that it became more important than my own discomfort or dislike of something...took me a while to get there, but when i did, it was a breakthrough.
Discovering the extent of my masochism came as an eye opener, i was worried that i wouldnt be masochistic enough for him, and i know even now that im not, but im enough of a pain slut, dont like that term btw to satisfy him.
It can only get better.
So i suppose i should end on a soppy note, i dont do a lot of sentimental posts, but a decade together warrants it i think!
Master, you have given me, shown me so much in the last 10 years, more than i could ever return, i know i must drive you crazy at times, 10 years ago i respected you as my dominant, but i came to love you as well as respect you as my Owner.
I cant wait to see where the next 10 years leads us, or perhaps more apt where you lead me.
I love you
xx
This week, no month (cant remember exact date) is 10 years since Master and i met face to face for the first time.
I dont think either of us expected us to be here, where we are now, i know that doesnt sound very good, one doesnt generally go into a relationship thinking it wont last! but then that i think is the point, neither of us was seeking a relationship as such, and certainly not love....and yet here we are.
Right, positive tori!....no negativity, i can do this, yes i can
I am happy with how much i have grown over the years, not just in being his slave but overall, im more sure of myself, of what i want and what i need, and im confident in being able to express that, but i think mostly im in a place of just trusting him enough to know what i want and need, and it took a long time getting there.
But i think a lot of that is simply maturing, growing up, experience etc, entering into an M/s dynamic at the age of 29 was just opening another door to discovering myself, exploring this side of me i was unsure about, not knowing if it was for me, i had doubts, but im so glad i gave it a go, i certainly have no regrets.
Master has always maintained that it was always in me, it just needed bringing out, if it wasnt him, it would of been some other dominant, and he has a point, but i for one am glad it was not someone else, we are lucky that we are very compatible, our needs and wants for the most part are on par.
Its difficult i think starting out, because one might not know for sure, it was different for me than him, i was relatively inexperienced, certainly not enough to be confident in knowing for sure what i liked, or indeed what i didnt like or to know what i wanted, whereas he has decades of experience more than me, he was/is very sure of what he likes, expects and wants.....i thought that might be an issue.
But, i took to it all really well, yes there were blips, and still are blips, (but this is a positive post) and i relished in discovering this 'world', that i thrived on being controlled, pleasing him being so important to me, that it became more important than my own discomfort or dislike of something...took me a while to get there, but when i did, it was a breakthrough.
Discovering the extent of my masochism came as an eye opener, i was worried that i wouldnt be masochistic enough for him, and i know even now that im not, but im enough of a pain slut, dont like that term btw to satisfy him.
It can only get better.
So i suppose i should end on a soppy note, i dont do a lot of sentimental posts, but a decade together warrants it i think!
Master, you have given me, shown me so much in the last 10 years, more than i could ever return, i know i must drive you crazy at times, 10 years ago i respected you as my dominant, but i came to love you as well as respect you as my Owner.
I cant wait to see where the next 10 years leads us, or perhaps more apt where you lead me.
I love you
xx
Friday, 3 April 2015
Ok, 2 days in and not going too well
April is meant to be a post positive month, i was set that challenge, i was so determined to stick to it, i was.
Then i logged on, had 2 comments pending approval, and yeah well, hmm one not a nice one at all, hence the previous post, i wasnt upset, but angry, what can i say, i vented in my own space.
I shouldnt care what people think, Master often tells me that, i know he is right.
So before the Easter break i shall leave on a positive note....
ummm all my body parts are in tact...cant get more positive than that!
Then i logged on, had 2 comments pending approval, and yeah well, hmm one not a nice one at all, hence the previous post, i wasnt upset, but angry, what can i say, i vented in my own space.
I shouldnt care what people think, Master often tells me that, i know he is right.
So before the Easter break i shall leave on a positive note....
ummm all my body parts are in tact...cant get more positive than that!
Coz it does my head in
Fact: everyones relationship is unique to them, just because you dont 'get' it, dont knock it and dont judge
Fact: dont state that a particular activity in s/m is harmful when you clearly dont have a clue..fucking safety police who dont know what they are talking about
Fact: saying in a comment "oh my Master/Mistress/God/ruler supreme/best dom ever...wouldnt treat me like that because he cares about how i feel" is condescending, and you just come across as a twat!
Fact: for some people having rituals is important to them, they have meaning, perhaps its a way of expressing/acknowledging the power exchange, whatever the reason, it might be tedious and boring to you, and thats fine, but im not you
Fact: i really couldnt give a toss if you think my relationship is unhealthy....stop reading here! simple!
right, thats me done until the Easter holidays are over.
yes i do feel better now, ta
*really should learn to ignore it, i know, but sometimes it just gets too much*
Fact: dont state that a particular activity in s/m is harmful when you clearly dont have a clue..fucking safety police who dont know what they are talking about
Fact: saying in a comment "oh my Master/Mistress/God/ruler supreme/best dom ever...wouldnt treat me like that because he cares about how i feel" is condescending, and you just come across as a twat!
Fact: for some people having rituals is important to them, they have meaning, perhaps its a way of expressing/acknowledging the power exchange, whatever the reason, it might be tedious and boring to you, and thats fine, but im not you
Fact: i really couldnt give a toss if you think my relationship is unhealthy....stop reading here! simple!
right, thats me done until the Easter holidays are over.
yes i do feel better now, ta
*really should learn to ignore it, i know, but sometimes it just gets too much*
Wednesday, 1 April 2015
We could turn this into a continual loop, you know!
Thanks to gg (greengirl) for nominating me for the real neat blog award....i have been laughing thinking about the continual loop..but i wont, i promise lol
The rules, i have followed them previously, now im going to be a rule-breaker.....i figure if your on my blog-roll, i like your blog, consider yourself nominated.
the questions from gg (this is fun, different)
1) If you were going to create a blog award, what would it be called or be about?
Im not so sure what snazzy title i would give it, but it would be for new blogs, welcoming those that have just started, i know how daunting it can be for some starting out in blogging, especially in respect of ttwd, so yeah something along those lines, mouse over at the power exchange used to do a series of posts called newbie Tuesday, i thought and still think thats a wonderful idea....can always learn something, no matter even how long one has been at this.
2) How would you describe your style of decorating.
oh gosh, um well, this is quite an old house, huge ceilings, fireplaces in quite a few of the rooms, lots of the original features from Victorian times, and i like to try to decorate in a way that is sensitive to that period but with a modern twist. I love looking around antique shops, finding something different, unique, i like art, paintings and sculptures, Damien Hirst being an artist im enthusiastic about the moment.
3) If you could have your dream job/occupation, what would it be?
In government, but in a position that i would have an influence over the education here in the UK, it really does need a huge upheaval imo.
4) Are there any people in your (vanilla) life who you think might actually be kinky, or who you look at and think "no way, but, yet maybe.."?
My oldest brother, things other the years that has been said, that have left me wondering, more especially what his ex-wives (he has 3, on the 4th now, or is it 5th..hmm im not sure lol) have said about him, i could totally see him being a dominant in the respect of D/s.
5) Where would you put yourself (the sum total of your relationship) on a spectrum from incredibly stern and rigid to teasing and lighthearted?
In the middle, but closer to stern and rigid than teasing and lighthearted, we have lots of fun for sure, but he is strict, firm, i am under no illusions you could say of what/where my place is, and im happy with that.
6) If you had a fairly close friend with whom you really could discuss these types of things, do you think you would still blog?
yes, definitely, i love the interaction, the different perspectives that you cant get from one person alone, the variety of the blogs i follow, plus Master reads my blog so its another method of communication, insight etc
7) If you had more time (in your day, in your week, in your life) what would you do differently?
Not now, as its too late, but going back, i would not have worked as much as i did when my children were smaller (pre-school age) i missed out on a lot, i would have worked, but part-time.
The rules, i have followed them previously, now im going to be a rule-breaker.....i figure if your on my blog-roll, i like your blog, consider yourself nominated.
the questions from gg (this is fun, different)
1) If you were going to create a blog award, what would it be called or be about?
Im not so sure what snazzy title i would give it, but it would be for new blogs, welcoming those that have just started, i know how daunting it can be for some starting out in blogging, especially in respect of ttwd, so yeah something along those lines, mouse over at the power exchange used to do a series of posts called newbie Tuesday, i thought and still think thats a wonderful idea....can always learn something, no matter even how long one has been at this.
2) How would you describe your style of decorating.
oh gosh, um well, this is quite an old house, huge ceilings, fireplaces in quite a few of the rooms, lots of the original features from Victorian times, and i like to try to decorate in a way that is sensitive to that period but with a modern twist. I love looking around antique shops, finding something different, unique, i like art, paintings and sculptures, Damien Hirst being an artist im enthusiastic about the moment.
3) If you could have your dream job/occupation, what would it be?
In government, but in a position that i would have an influence over the education here in the UK, it really does need a huge upheaval imo.
4) Are there any people in your (vanilla) life who you think might actually be kinky, or who you look at and think "no way, but, yet maybe.."?
My oldest brother, things other the years that has been said, that have left me wondering, more especially what his ex-wives (he has 3, on the 4th now, or is it 5th..hmm im not sure lol) have said about him, i could totally see him being a dominant in the respect of D/s.
5) Where would you put yourself (the sum total of your relationship) on a spectrum from incredibly stern and rigid to teasing and lighthearted?
In the middle, but closer to stern and rigid than teasing and lighthearted, we have lots of fun for sure, but he is strict, firm, i am under no illusions you could say of what/where my place is, and im happy with that.
6) If you had a fairly close friend with whom you really could discuss these types of things, do you think you would still blog?
yes, definitely, i love the interaction, the different perspectives that you cant get from one person alone, the variety of the blogs i follow, plus Master reads my blog so its another method of communication, insight etc
7) If you had more time (in your day, in your week, in your life) what would you do differently?
Not now, as its too late, but going back, i would not have worked as much as i did when my children were smaller (pre-school age) i missed out on a lot, i would have worked, but part-time.
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