tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3348741119843312019.post1873080052101413804..comments2023-05-21T15:25:29.957+01:00Comments on Pain's Pleasure: Just pondering on thistorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06358391889176400481noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3348741119843312019.post-17055809864168603492013-05-16T20:56:59.442+01:002013-05-16T20:56:59.442+01:00Thanks lil
It clearly does work as you demonstrat...Thanks lil<br /><br />It clearly does work as you demonstrate as well as many others and i would assume its because of both naturally desiring it, and wanting it to be a sucess....its not forced or 'put on' to please the other.<br /><br />xtorihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06358391889176400481noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3348741119843312019.post-4530914027112938242013-05-16T20:54:17.360+01:002013-05-16T20:54:17.360+01:00Thanks Blueame
Oh yes there are definitley moment...Thanks Blueame<br /><br />Oh yes there are definitley moments of time when i do struggle and i 'fight' against his control, its not all roses lol<br /><br />And yes agreed when relationships breakdown there generally is a catalyst that sparks it but its generally more than just one issue.<br /><br />xtorihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06358391889176400481noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3348741119843312019.post-75614209887284229132013-05-16T20:52:37.454+01:002013-05-16T20:52:37.454+01:00Yep i agree marriage is a complete package, i have...Yep i agree marriage is a complete package, i have to say although my marriage failed for a few reasons, my need for this lifestyle was a big one, it was me trying to be someone i wasnt to keep the marriage going that started it going downhill.<br /><br />No nothing ever is black and white, perhaps there are exceptions.<br /><br />xtorihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06358391889176400481noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3348741119843312019.post-52033580029678283422013-05-16T20:49:46.104+01:002013-05-16T20:49:46.104+01:00hi squirrel
Although i do get your logic in that ...hi squirrel<br /><br />Although i do get your logic in that scenario, i was meaning when one is trying to be something they are not to please the other, so they are 'acting' dominant but its not enough perhaps to meet the submissives needs..and thats where the conflict come into play.<br /><br />xtorihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06358391889176400481noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3348741119843312019.post-767463903035385652013-05-16T20:47:55.426+01:002013-05-16T20:47:55.426+01:00It can be difficult, but as you have stated it can...It can be difficult, but as you have stated it can work and you both certainly (from reading your blog) are getting something out of it.<br /><br />I think one of the wanderful things about ttwd there is diversity, some its kink soley in the bedroom, some its in all parts of the life....neither better than the other just different.<br /><br />xtorihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06358391889176400481noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3348741119843312019.post-83182291571044125532013-05-16T20:42:40.021+01:002013-05-16T20:42:40.021+01:00Its difficult joey, and without making judgement i...Its difficult joey, and without making judgement i think its why its common for some to seek outside their marriage because they dont perhaps recognise these needs until later in life.<br /><br />This works for many couples whose spouses know and dont mind, its not just about the sex i agree, it is so much more than that.<br /><br />x<br /><br />torihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06358391889176400481noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3348741119843312019.post-85869578181746474102013-05-16T20:39:44.778+01:002013-05-16T20:39:44.778+01:00hi baby girl
I do believe that it can be sucessfu...hi baby girl<br /><br />I do believe that it can be sucessful to merge ttwd into what perhaps started as a vanilla relationship, the fact that there are so many here that blog about this demonstrates it can work.<br /><br />and yes these relationships i do think foster a closeness and a level of intimacy which is hard to explain.<br /><br />xtorihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06358391889176400481noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3348741119843312019.post-26522405859422791982013-05-16T14:56:28.175+01:002013-05-16T14:56:28.175+01:00Great post, Tori.
I feel exactly as you do when ...Great post, Tori. <br /><br />I feel exactly as you do when you said, "But then my submission isnt mine to dictate how it is utilised, its his dominance that defines my submission." <br /><br />Though I think there are times when all of us 's' types can be caught up in not entirely relinquishing control or wanting to dictate our submission and by extension, their dominance. <br /><br />As far as marriages breaking down--well there are many reasons for a marriage not working. Its probably that much harder when you throw in the want for a D/s dynamic and not having that need met, but I feel personally, it is never just one issue that causes the chasm between two people to open.<br />Bleue D'âmehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12945301989408243513noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3348741119843312019.post-60492196696732128552013-05-15T04:13:21.825+01:002013-05-15T04:13:21.825+01:00I think you are right in many ways, but I also don...I think you are right in many ways, but I also don't think that I would end my marriage over this one issue (not saying that anyone has as things are always way more complicated than that).<br /><br />It is a complete package - marriage - sometimes it works better than others - but you weigh it all.<br /><br />Anyway, I started out to say how right you are, and you are. It just isn't that black and white in my world. :)Kitty the Submissive Wifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00185859722963938064noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3348741119843312019.post-4908822673811691642013-05-14T16:27:01.898+01:002013-05-14T16:27:01.898+01:00I love your musings but would offer one different ...I love your musings but would offer one different observation of my own. I disagree that "how can i submit if he isnt dominating" translates into "no, you want him to dominate you in the way you think he should, they way you want." <br /><br />There is a huge difference between submitting to someone who is dominating you differently than you would prefer (like you do at times :-)) and submitting to someone who is not dominating you at all. <br /><br />If someone decides not to spank you, it is admirable to submissively accept that decision and not act out to get your own way. But if spanking you never even occurs to the person because they are simply not dominant and the submissive is telling herself that she is just submitting to his "decision," that is where frustration can arise. To me, that is almost submitting to yourself.<br /><br />It is the dominant's choice how or even whether to dominate, but only as long as the "dominant" is making that choice.<br /><br />love, squirrel<br /><br />squirrelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00031730207203305500noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3348741119843312019.post-76237247394474450632013-05-14T15:21:45.520+01:002013-05-14T15:21:45.520+01:00"But then my submission isnt mine to dictate ..."But then my submission isnt mine to dictate how it is utilised, its his dominance that defines my submission." <br />How perfectly stated.<br /><br />Being in one of those couples who has (apparently) successfully merged ttwd into our lives, I think that your musings on it are spot on.<br />Stormhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12613795542678253943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3348741119843312019.post-57287573781272533302013-05-14T14:29:18.663+01:002013-05-14T14:29:18.663+01:00This is something I ponder on a lot! Can you be s...This is something I ponder on a lot! Can you be submissive to somebody who isn't naturally dominant? You're last statement implies no since it is the dominant that determines the scope of submission. I've no intention of forcing my other half to be something he is intrinsically not. I did not marry him with the plan to become D/s in our lives. Kinky in the bedroom - yes, a little amount of top/bottom, nothing more. It is an unmet need for me, but it is one I can live without as long as we continue to be adventurous in the bedroom. Beyond .... well it is a dream, that's all.<br />DelFontehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00008482549648272206noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3348741119843312019.post-85372348766132649402013-05-14T13:47:37.809+01:002013-05-14T13:47:37.809+01:00tori,
My first wife and I married very young for ...tori,<br /><br />My first wife and I married very young for all the wrong reasons. No one should judge you or your motives.<br /><br />I agree that you cannot make someone embrace TTWD the way you want them to in a relationship. Also, I really think it is hard for a married couple to make a go of it, not impossible but very difficult because needs change. <br /><br />Most of my friends have D/s and M/s relationships outside of their marriages. Or, they are just single and have a relationship with someone. Often, like me, it is not about sex, but other things. A male slave friend told me his wife was in the scene, but after a few years decided she wanted a vanilla marriage. He is now the slave of a female master with her blessing. A single male dom friend told me his typical D/s relationships last about twelve months. A female sub has a male dom who her husband has met. I have met her husband, he is happy that she is getting the attention than she wants that he cannot provide.<br /><br /><br />Excellent topic,<br /><br />Hug,<br />joey<br /><br /><br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3348741119843312019.post-36379307787258802422013-05-14T13:44:25.582+01:002013-05-14T13:44:25.582+01:00We fall into the group that is merging ttwd into o...We fall into the group that is merging ttwd into our marriage. We too were very young when we married and neither sure of what we wanted or who we were. <br /><br />I often worry that Daddy is only doing this for me, but he assures me (and his physical responses concur!) that it is something he wants and enjoys too! He was a dominant man when we first dated and were married, but over the years I took on the more dominant/decision making role. <br /><br />That has led to a rocky road in the attempt to exchange that power, but it has brought us closer together and for that I will forever be grateful. <br /><br />Hugs Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com